I’ve been having a lot of interpersonal conflicts with people as of late, and after lots of introspection over several weeks, I decided to write down some thoughts I had. Below is what I put down this morning.
Being an introvert is difficult, given that American society caters to and is predominantly extroverted, but the world becomes a completely different place when you have people who are neglecting you either directly/intentionally or indirectly.
Those who aren’t introverted often seem to have difficulty understanding that our time alone (to recharge, recompose) doesn’t mean we don’t want contact, we just want contact that amounts something: something with weight or substance. Small 5-10 minute chitchats, or “conveniently short” texts discussing trivialities, do not make us feel appreciated nor do they give the impression the listener is applying empathy (trying to connect with their conversation partner) — instead, the introvert is left feeling unfulfilled and in many cases belittled. They feel like best-effort communication is being prioritised over quality.
In today’s world so many people “don’t have time” for X/Y/Z. The excuses are literally endless. I’ve always maintained that making time for things (especially people) you care for is always worthwhile. Rebuttals like “there need to be more hours in a day” are nothing but impractical and convenient excuses. If I can make time for you, surely you can make time for me — golden rule and all that.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard a person ask another “is the way we communicate fulfilling? Are you happy with how we talk?” Maybe those are questions that, if were to become more commonplace, would save more friendships and relationships.
I’m of the strong belief that this advice can apply to extroverts too, but it’s important to remember that the nuances and needs of introverts and communication are different.