Sharing introverted communication wisdom

I’ve been having a lot of interpersonal conflicts with people as of late, and after lots of introspection over several weeks, I decided to write down some thoughts I had. Below is what I put down this morning.

Being an introvert is difficult, given that American society caters to and is predominantly extroverted, but the world becomes a completely different place when you have people who are neglecting you either directly/intentionally or indirectly.

Those who aren’t introverted often seem to have difficulty understanding that our time alone (to recharge, recompose) doesn’t mean we don’t want contact, we just want contact that amounts something: something with weight or substance. Small 5-10 minute chitchats, or “conveniently short” texts discussing trivialities, do not make us feel appreciated nor do they give the impression the listener is applying empathy (trying to connect with their conversation partner) — instead, the introvert is left feeling unfulfilled and in many cases belittled. They feel like best-effort communication is being prioritised over quality.

In today’s world so many people “don’t have time” for X/Y/Z. The excuses are literally endless. I’ve always maintained that making time for things (especially people) you care for is always worthwhile. Rebuttals like “there need to be more hours in a day” are nothing but impractical and convenient excuses. If I can make time for you, surely you can make time for me — golden rule and all that.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard a person ask another “is the way we communicate fulfilling? Are you happy with how we talk?” Maybe those are questions that, if were to become more commonplace, would save more friendships and relationships.

I’m of the strong belief that this advice can apply to extroverts too, but it’s important to remember that the nuances and needs of introverts and communication are different.

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Personal NES/Famicom and SNES/Super Famicom nostalgia

I’ve kept a lot of memoires from my childhood, though not as many as I’d have liked. But the one subject matter I tried very hard to hold on to was anything relating to the NES/Famicom or SNES/Super Famicom.

Given my previous blog post, I decided I’d make a short itemised list — with photos, if available — of just some (hardly all!) of the things I’ve done or kept over the years:

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Diggin’ In The Carts

Almost exactly 1 year ago I wrote a short blog piece titled The influences of female NES/Famicom music composers.

Since I follow lots of Japanese NES/Famicom music-oriented folks on Twitter, it came as somewhat of a surprise that as of last week, Red Bull Music Academy released the start of a series called Diggin’ In The Carts, which delves into the history of Japanese video game music through interviews with classic video game historians, as well as actual composers:

Due to lack of energy in the evenings (work has been keeping me pretty busy), I haven’t had a chance to watch any of the series — until this morning. Needless to say, I have what is probably the biggest smile on my face in many years. This is something I have dreamt of since probably 10 years old.

Coping with the grieving process

As mentioned previously, a very close and important friend of mine passed away a week ago. Given that my IBS decided to kick in after only 4 hours of sleep tonight, I figured I might as well write about what I’ve been through over the past week.

A friend of mine who has been helping me cope referred me to this article describing 15 things to be aware of during the grieving process. Some were common sense (or “obvious” as I might say), but others were not. I’d urge anyone who has lost someone close to them to read that article.

As for me, well, it’s been strange. I thought I’d list off what I’ve gone through and what I’m doing a week later to still cope with the loss and dramatic change.

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The passing of someone I love

Preface

Over the past year I had gotten to know a very special Canadian woman amazingly well: Samantha. She was known online by many different names; babelfish, zolimaeph, FrankenZoli, and moeriel. We were different people but shared many identical traits, all the way down to our birthdays being the same (January 24th). We talked daily — literally — and it wasn’t just casual chit-chat but lengthy (6-7 hour) in-depth conversations about each other, our lives, how we felt, what we were thinking, and many many laughs. Just spending time with her was amazing in itself, and I felt a sense of completion in many ways when we interacted. We both liked one another very much, and over the past 2-3 months we told one another that at least once a day; just a simple “I like you” and we knew what the other meant. Late last week we had even mentioned in passing that we’d had daydreams of flying out to meet the other (very difficult for me to do given my IBS).

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The influences of female NES/Famicom music composers

I was born in 1977. My first video game console was the Atari 2600, followed by the Atari 7800, then the NES/Nintendo (a.k.a. Famicom/FC (ファミリーコンピュータ)), and later the SNES/Super Nintendo (a.k.a. Super Famicom/SFC (スーパーファミコン)).

Every system for me was influential in some way, but the NES will always remain the most significant because of what age I was at the time (roughly 11). I have a staggering number of positive memories from that time period, many of which in some way or another involved the NES either directly or indirectly. In general the late 80s/early 90s was a good time to be alive when it came to anything relating to electronics, gaming, or technology. It was an inaugural time of sorts; there was so much originality and ingenuity happening on multiple levels, especially in the United States and Japan. Technology was advancing rapidly but was still “simple” enough for someone technically-inclined at age 16 or 17 to understand, all the way down to the hardware. Today that often isn’t the case.

So it should come as no surprised that NES/Famicom music was an illustrious thus significant part of my life both then and now; I still to this day hum and whistle key melodies from popular games (and I don’t just mean Super Mario Brothers). The list is almost endless.

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Memories

Tonight I decided to do something nostalgic (more than the usual) — try to find all the places I’ve lived at over the years, or at least the ones I can remember. There are some I can remember but can’t find (such as when I briefly lived in the graduate dorms at Stanford), thus decided not to list them.

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